'When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.'
- Victor Frankl
Our attempts to adjust and change our circumstance work for a while and then we hit a wall. We ponder our adult relationships, get stuck with our ways of being, struggling with keeping ourselves and our relationships alive, feeling unsatisfied, angry, sometimes out of control. Lack of awareness in our part can be dangerous to what we do and how we appear in our work or our relationships with partners, parents, kids or coworkers.
Exploring these internal process and validate our external circumstances with another person allows for finishing old business and getting more knowledge of ourselves, and gaining more understanding of our loved ones.
I work with couples that suffer from emotional disconnection, frequent or escalated fighting, avoidance, grief, addictive behaviors, infidelity and difficulties being physically intimate. Couples therapy can allow partners to have important conversations about how they envision their relationship while gaining more clarity about each one's individual and relational needs.
I work using an attachment lens with Emotionally Focused Therapy and Collaborative Therapy. Understanding patterns of reactivity, slowing down the conversation, uncovering the underlying feelings and talking about unmet needs is at the heart of the EFT model. Together we can restructure these conversations by talking about what is going on under the reactivity or avoidance and creating new ways of connecting and getting one's needs voiced.
We strive for more harmony and/or more passion. We strive for more autonomy and/or more togetherness and we all make mistakes in the process of going about it. It is normal and human to do so. Healing makes relationships stronger and more connected. Therapy can repair bonds and heal old wounds.
This can be powerful and deeply connecting work. Don’t wait until it is too late.